Health Tips : Foods To Avoid

Food is very important to life and health. Some foods are particularly important as they help build our immunity against certain diseases. In the same vein, research has shown that some foods when eaten regularly, set us up for disease conditions like Diabetes Mellitus, hypertension and even cancers. Here are some of such foods and they should be eaten RARELY.

Added sugar from all sources: white sugar, brown sugar, soft drinks etc make your blood sugar rise and fall erratically. And they contain empty calories which do not help you at all.

Baked goodies like cakes, doughnuts, pies etc contain a lot of unhealthy fats, processed carbs and of course, added sugar.

Processed meats like bacon, sausages and ham are certainly not as healthy as white meat like skinless chicken. Fish is also a good alternative.

Dairy foods like full cream milk, ice cream and cheese should be replaced with skimmed milk, unsweetened low fat yoghurt and low fat cheese. You could add some cut up fruits to the yoghurt to ‘jazz it up’ or pour it over your cereal like muesli.

White carbs like white bread, polished rice, cookies etc should be replaced with whole wheat versions. If you bake, you could add oatmeal to your cookies for a healthier option. 

Salt should be used very sparingly and the only way to this is really re-training our taste buds to ‘accept’ less salt as tasty. Remember that you can use spices to ‘jazz’ up your food.

#EatHealthyFoods#HealthIsWealth#YouAreWhatYouEat!

In The Ring : Learning From Fights...

Call them what you want: arguments, fights, disagreements, or United Nations Peacekeeping Summits, every couple has them. The fights may look different: some are filled with a quiet tension while others are loud and explosive. But put two people together and they will have different view and opinions. In our marriage, we’ve found that the trick to keeping these fights from getting too harsh and destructive often lies in examining the fight itself.

Our first major fight was over a new lawn mower. Yes, a lawn mower. How could this yard tool stir up such strife? Lawnmowers generally need an even number of wheels to function properly. Ours came with only three out of four. The simple Saturday afternoon chore proved to be not so simple. We spent the whole day running from store to store for wheels, tools, etc. By the end of the day, we were both furious with each other and could hardly be in the same room.

After everything settled down, we discussed why a three-wheeled-mower-dilemma caused a stormy day in our marriage. I learned quite a bit about my husband (and myself) from our discussion. My husband, Justin, is a very patient man. He definitely does not expect smooth sailing in all things. However, he usually has a plan in his head of how things should happen. When situations do not go according to plan, he can get discouraged. I, on the other hand, approach life with the attitude that anything is possible. I see a difficult situation as a personal challenge. Sometimes I even enjoy overcoming an obstacle or solving a problem that seemed impossible.

As the lawn mower situation grew more complicated, Justin grew discouraged and frustrated. I did not understand his feelings and, therefore, became irritated by his reaction.

In the days and weeks that followed we asked ourselves, “How can we avoid this in the future?” Stresses and frustrations, at some level, are unavoidable. That’s life. However, I did not need to exacerbate it by growing angry at the way in which my husband dealt with the situation. So I asked Justin, “What do you want me to do when you are frustrated? Can I leave the situation so that it does not escalate? Should I offer my help or just let you do it?” I will often ask these questions in the midst of a frustrating situation. To my surprise, Justin’s preferences can vary significantly. At times, he will ask me to leave him to the task. Other times he will tell me how I can help, or he will ask me to take a break with him and step away from the problem. The most important takeaway for me is that I cannot assume that I know exactly what he needs in every situation.

When I am stressed, I like to talk it through (a common female response). Justin has learned to ask me, “Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?” Like Justin, my needs vary depending on the situation. One day I want his advice and the next I just want a listening ear.

We have also learned the value in stepping away. It is amazing how much a conflict can defuse after we take a little time to cool down. Rarely does an effective solution present itself in the heat of the moment. Give the other person some breathing room so that both parties can calm down. Justin often needs more time to process his thoughts than I do. Just because I come up with responses faster than he does, does not mean my thoughts are in any way better than his. After we have both had sufficient time, we come back together, apologize for any unkind words that were said, and discuss the problem calmly and with respect.

Take the time to learn from past fights and use this knowledge in future disagreements. Know what questions to ask and when to take a break. Hopefully, this will lead to more peaceful discussions (disputes/quarrels/summits) in the future.

Written by AMY VANSLOCUM (culled from @startmarriageright)

#Learn&Communicate

Features : Planning A Nigerian Wedding (A-Z)

One of the most popular gifts over the Valentine season was engagement rings. I know this is not a new trend but this past Valentine more than ever, men were just whipping out rings left, right and center; under trees, wrapped in a box, by the Eiffel Tower, you name it! Valentine is a season of gift giving, so what better gift to give your favorite than the promise of forever (all your love, support, your heart, mind, body and soul). It may be cliché, yes, but it’s still pretty romantic. That being said, there’s a high chance that if you’re reading this you’re engaged (or you know someone who is) YAY!!

Now, are you having a wedding? not just any wedding; a NIGERIAN wedding! The stakes are higher here, everything is bigger and bolder. As you can imagine, or have experienced second-hand, this can get overwhelming fast. So, I’ve nailed the Nigerian wedding to 26 simple terms and we’re taking you to the basics. Remember these, and you’ll be just fine.

Aso-Ebi
This is a tricky one. The choice of what to wear as a family has torn many families apart, with who gets to wear which one and the bride’s family running a huge tab on yards and yards of fabric. The choice to go with or without aso-ebi is simple and it’s yours. You can pick a color for uniformity and theme, and leave the stress of specifics.

Budget
No matter how limited or unlimited your funds are, set a budget. Everyone has a limit and you should know yours. This will help prioritize aspects of your wedding and save time spent on a vague budget.

Catering
The key to a great Nigerian wedding is a surplus of good food. If it’s edible, you should probably have it available; desserts, hors d’oeuvres (a.k.a. small chops), lots of juice, cocktails and alcohol, tons of meat and eventually water. Luckily, most catering services are affordable to the point that you can have multiple caterers to up your variety. Many are also well versed in mass production.

Decor
This is what really seals the deal on your event. The colors, textures, themes, etc. add (or remove) from the overall quality of your event. Good decorators, unlike good caterers, are not as easy or cheap to get. I say splurge a little of decor and ambiance, because that’s what all of your photographs will be made up of anyway. You many not remember your specific table settings or drapes, but you’ll remember the general feel of the room, so make it something memorable.

Entertainment
Nigerians LOVE to be entertained (and many of us do also love to entertain). It’s like life is circus and we’re just here to have fun. Weddings, as generally entertaining as they are, are still very much run of the mill. Stand out a little in your choice of entertainment. Choose your MC wisely because with a good host, you might not have to shell out millions of Naira on as many celebrity guest performers. If you do have the cash, you might want to consider an artiste that means something to you especially or that you especially enjoy, not just the popular ones.

Favors
Gone are the days of plastic assortments. Very rarely do you just acquire coolers, trays, buckets, bowls, cups and fans with “So-so WEDS So-so” anymore. And thank goodness! While plastic goodies and handkerchiefs and mugs are easy and affordable to mass produce, they are not the most creative or thoughtful gifts. Few weddings have gradually started to forgo favors all together in place of candy bars or takeaway desserts. Get thinking, hop on Pinterest, inspiration is abounding. DIY-ing might not be an option for your guest list of 2000, but some small business may be able to bring your ideas to life.

Gifts
Less and less wedding attendees at Nigerian weddings are bringing gifts for the couple. At my parents’ wedding 25 years ago, there was a whole session assigned so each guest present could present a gift to them personally. I should add for emphasis that they were even given a living, breathing goat. Now, we have gift tables where gifts sometimes go missing or ignored registries or worst of all, an abundance of repeated items. If you can, urge your guests to stick to monetary gifts or if you’re feeling particularly charitable, donate whatever you get that you don’t need. It will save your beautiful new home from all the clutter of tens of dinner sets and hundreds of toaster ovens.

Housing
In Nigeria no one is ever from a place and everyone you know will be in that place. You will have out of town guests in abundance and if you’re lucky your house will only feel like a boarding school dorm room and not smell like one. Check your local hotels for group deals and party discounts, and try to get as many guests as you can to stay anywhere but your house. Divide relatives among other relatives, as that is a little more hospitable (or should I say African) than hotels. If push comes to shove get yourself a hotel suite near your house or your venue, whichever works better. You don’t want to get to your wedding with your exquisite dress smelling like stock fish or vegetable soup.

Ideas
Wedding fever has taken over and it is totally awesome! Inspiration and ideas are everywhere, and it’s understandable. You’ve got wedding on your brain and everything looks game. So, GET PINTEREST. Get a smartphone, if you’re part of the rare breed without one. It will make your whole life easier. You can command an army with a tiny little device; your troops of moms, bridesmaids, planner and everyone who “saw this cool thing you must see” will all be very accessible to you. Keep your ideas organized and don’t freak out if you’re falling in love with conflicting themes or ideas. It’s all part of the process.

Jitters
Don’t panic! Wedding jitters are completely normal. The nerves are good actually, they’re just your excitement in overdrive. Just relax and think about the positives; your beautiful spouse-to-be, your happy friends and family and your stunning wedding. Unless your intuition is really gnawing at you, then be still and enjoy!

Kids
Little humans are incredibly adorable and hilarious, but they’re also not self-regulatory and can be disruptive. It is totally up to you if you want children in or at your wedding. Your ovaries won’t freeze over because you’d rather not have kids at your wedding. It might be hard or unconventional to explain to your kid-having family members and friends but explain to them that even THEY get a break from mommy- and daddy-hood for a day, and it would be great!

Licence
Nobody likes boring administrative paperwork but in order for your wedding to actually lead to a marriage, some legal work needs to be done. Marriage licences are usually pretty straight forward, just confirm with your local governing body on such things. Be crystal clear about the details and the conditions, especially if you’re having a destination wedding, so that everything goes hitch free.

Music
Your choice of music ties into your entertainment as much as it ties into your decor and ambiance. Luckily, most Nigerians have two wedding ceremonies so you can really play around with themes. A saxophonist or a pianist sets a very classy, jazzy feel preferably for the white wedding while a live band or King Sunny Ade give the fuji, high life feel better suited for a traditional wedding.

Negotiation
So, you’ve set your budget. Great. Your aim should be to be as under budget as realistically possible. Some things are non-negotiable for quality reasons, but on most things you can get a better deal with the right connections or the right person bargaining for you. Shop around for deals, and compare prices. Also, ask for recommendations from former brides and don’t be afraid to ask for a discount, or for what you can get in your price point. It doesn’t have to be pricey to be good.

Organization
A wedding is no small feat. It can be acne-inducing to the point that they say if you make it through planning your wedding, your marriage will be stronger for it. However, if you go at it will the precision of a drill sergeant you might be saved tears and screaming matches. You’re going to get called a “bridezilla” anyway, so you might as well not be losing sleep while you’re at it. Delegate tasks, follow up on said tasks accordingly. Prioritize. Set a timeline. Read up on what you should be doing when. Buy binders and folders and highlighters if you’re the type. And just try not to let this wedding take over your life!

Planners
YOU NEED ONE! Trust me. If reading so far hasn’t convinced you that you do, reading to the end of the post most definitely should. I’m not trying to use scare tactics on you (at least not on purpose), but wedding planning can seriously get out of hand. And that’s where planners come in. This is literally their day job, and they’re so familiar with the terrain. Most wedding planners can work with any and every vision, just say it and voila, it’s yours. Okay, maybe not like the Genie but planners have insight that makes their jobs look like magic.

Questions
The only question you have to be more sure about than your wedding is the person you’re wedding. Most people get to do this only once and you should want it to be just right. I’m going to avoid the B word again, but ask as many questions as will satisfy you. Relish the experience, ask just for knowledge sake even. You only get to be a bride once so know what all your options are, so that you can make decisions with no fear of regret.

Risk
There’s no progress without risk. Plain and simple. There’s going to be things that feel like a gamble or that you’re not too sure about but if your gut says yes, go for it. Don’t over think it. It might be on your dress, your venue, decor, whatever it may be might just feel a little too out of your comfort zone or out of the box but if you keep daydreaming about it then just do it. Live a little, excite yourself.

Stationery
I’m a bit of a penmanship nerd, so I love to see efforts in wedding prints and stationary. Programs, menus, invitations and thank you cards are all little personalized touches that go a long way. From the invitation card the stage is set for you to build your grand production on, you have pretty much all channels of expression open to you. From traditional calligraphy to quirky comics to fun questions and games, you can tell your story however you want.

Tradition
Something old, something new. Something borrowed, something blue. And a sixpence in your shoe. Every family, tribe and culture has its own beautifully unique traditions and customs. Try and incorporate as many as you can or as are important to you. It just makes the ceremony and the whole wedding have so much more meaning. You can borrowing some traditions that you find particularly symbolic or befitting. Nigerians are a people proud in culture and traditions, bask in it.

Unity
Try as you might, this might be the hardest one. The whole purpose of a marriage is to unite two people, and subsequently two families. It might be impossible to get every single member of both families on the same page but try to keep the peace. Pick your battles wisely, and listen to every opinion with grace. Focus on the unity of both your families now, don’t let a wedding come in the way of that.

Venue
The options for where to have your wedding are potentially endless. We can start from the sentimental (where you met, where you first vacationed), to the traditional (church, your father’s compound). The keys to choosing the perfect venue are simple: pick a convenient venue, whether for its size, its proximity to your home or its general location. Pick a budget friendly venue, you’re going to have to dole out cash for topnotch decor anyway so your venue doesn’t have to be debt inducing. If you’re picking an expensive venue make sure it’s as close to all-inclusive as possible. Get creative with your venue if possible as many Nigerians stick to churches and reception halls, so an out of the box venue will make it more personal and memorable for you.

When
The date you pick to get married is so influential. That date, not only will you remember it for the rest of your life, will play a huge role in the kind of wedding you have. How many people can come, where can you have it, down to what flowers you can have are all influenced by the date you pick. Some people pick dates for many sentimental reasons, but if you have many “must haves” some specific times of year might be more favorable for you. If you plan of having a destination wedding on a budget, you should consider some off-season travel times like March and April. If you want as many people in attendance as possible, try the summer months or Christmas time as family and friends can get off work easier then.

Xtras
With almost everything in life you need to prioritize. You need to decide what the core components (the “must have” parts) of your wedding are and what the “xtras” are. The extra would be nice to have but they don’t take center stage in the production. Any and every thing can fall under extras depending on your theme or even personality. Just stay in focus and prioritize.

You & Yours
Remember who this is really all about (You and yours). In a Nigerian house, it’s easy to forget who the celebrant really is. At my father’s 50th, it was my mother in gold Swarovski encrusted lace, while he wore off-white Guinea brocade. It might look like your wedding is your parents’ party but let your voice be heard. If you don’t or do want something say it, it’s your wedding after all.

Zen
You can tell I’m reaching here with this one, but being Zen (in the state of peace) is terribly important to your wedding planning process. You need to feel at peace not only with your choices but with yourself. You need to be able to sleep easy. This is a monumental step in your life that you’re taking. I wish all newly engaged brides a peaceful wedding planning process and marriage thereafter.

Written By Olutunu Oyelola

'Prior Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance'

Event : Coming Up This Friday!

CCC Ijaiye Olifi Cathedral is inviting all Celestians to come for the Night Of Restoration Crusade themed '...Am UNSTOPPABLE' where they will experience Breakthrough, Salvation,Healing,Divine Restoration and Good Music Inspiration!

Ministers : Evang. Arinze Davies (CCC Ibukun Orisun Iye Parish) and Sup. Evang. Joseph Adeniyi (CCC Crown Of Glory International).

Date: 26th February,2016.
Venue: Klm 27, Lagos-Abeokuta Express Way, Obadeyi B/Stop, Ijaiye-Ojokoro, Lagos.
Time: 10 pm - 5 am

#Don'tMissIt!!

Photos: Rev E.M.F Oshoffa's Visit To A Parish In Lagos During Sunday Service

#OneCelestial#OneLove

Photos: Celestians During A Wednesday Morning Seekers Service

Celestial church seekers service normally holds every wednesday by 9am prompt. The service is meant for the needy; those looking up to God or seeking his face for fruitfulness or divine blessings in any area of life Deut 4:29, Matt 7: 7 . Celestians usually come to this service with a bottle of water and 3 different kinds of fruits. Just like Hannah prayed in the bible (1st Samuel 1:10-11), so do Celestians offer faithful prayers to God Psalm 40:16,Matt 21:22, Mark 11:24.

God is our provider; we trust him to always do above our expectations Ephesians 3:20.

#MyGodShallSupplyAllMyNeeds

Career : 6 Factors To Consider If You Want To Be The Best That You Can

This is not a motivational piece, this is a realistic article. What you are about to read is bound to make a significant change in your life!

My mentor once told me “Brown, do not just do the best you were asked to do, rather, always do the best you can. If you sincerely do the best you can, most times, the best you can comes out better than the best you were asked to do.” It’s so true. We all have what it takes in us.

In same vain, I will like to start this piece by saying to you; do not be the best that is required of you, rather be the best you can be! Circumstances and association must have placed a bench mark to the best you can become. That is not best enough. Strive to be the best you can be regardless of what is at stake.

I am not yet the best I can be in my career but I am right on course and I will like to share a formula that is the common denominator of all great achievers and high flyers in our world today. Greatness don’t just happen to people. You don’t just sleep-walk into stardom or limelight. There is a price to pay to become the best you can be. What do you want? You want to be super rich? You want to be a shining star? You want to get to the pinnacle of your career? You want to build an exceptional brand? You want to make global or continental impact? Then check out the reality that you cannot circumvent.

Aspiration
Everything about what we become rises and falls on desire. Aspiration is a strong desire for something. How bad do you want it? I said in my last article that life answers to the speed of our passion. The worst place to be as a person is to be limited in reality and also be limited in your desires. Dreaming is free, yet not everybody can afford it. We live in a generous universe and there is no limit to what you can aspire to become, achieve or produce. For you to become the best you can be, it must be borne out of a strong and passionate desire to be the best. If you cannot see it in your imagination, forget it.

Mentoring
Do you need a mentor? Yes. There are people that has gone ahead of you in what you are striving to become. They have covered some milestones and are still moving. Humbly request to be mentored. Please, your role model must not be your mentor. Your mentor must be somebody you can access and someone that can make out time for you. So before you say that Tony Elumelu or Tara Durotoye is your mentor, be really sure that they are. Also, a mentor is not somebody you run to for financial bailout when you encounter challenges in your journey to greatness. If there is one person you shouldn’t ask for money, it’s your mentor. Most people are very skeptical about mentoring anybody again because of this “help me financially” mindset of mentees.

Supernatural
*clears throat*, I don’t want to talk about this, but since you asked for it, we can as well talk about it. This is the rallying point of all the other tools you need to attain greatness. The spirit controls the physical. Every great achiever is alive in the spiritual realm because man is a spiritual being. There is a certain level of greatness you can never attain if you are not powerful spiritually. Every great man or woman you know in any field of life producing exceptional results commands a great deal of spiritual influence. For instance, if you desire wealth, then you should seek spiritual power first. According to a quote from the Bible, “thou shall remember the lord thy God, for it is he that giveth the POWER to make wealth”. Wealth is not for mere men. Greatness is not for ‘children’. To become the best you can be, you must align yourself to a supernatural source(Godly). You can’t be sitting on the fence and expect to excel beyond measure. You must decide today to align yourself to the supernatural.I rest my case!

Training
We all have great potentials; but potential is not enough. Potential is everything you can be that you are not. It is everything you have the ability to do that you are not doing. Potentials don’t pay bills. It does not produce result. What produces result is skill. Nobody is willing to pay for your potential. It is unquantifiable. You can’t put a price tag to it. If you must be the best you can be, then you must strive to convert your potential energy to kinetic energy. Translate your potentials to skill. When you see a man diligent in his work, He does not stand before mere men but before kings. This can only be achieved by constant training and capacity building. One training a day, keeps mediocrity away.

Energy
In order to become the best you can be, you need energy. Energy is defined elementarily as the ability to do work, which means without the right energy, work cannot be done. So, our ability to manage our energy effectively determines how far we can be able to go. There are two forms of energy that must work in agreement for us to excel beyond measures. Internal Energy (Energy Within) and External Energy (Energy Without). Internal Energy refers to our Health, Strength, Agility and Mental Alertness. Health is wealth, remember?

If you have issues with your internal energy you will find it difficult to produce at optimum capacity. So, make sure you eat healthy, drink healthy, exercise regularly to keep fit and find time to recreate. However, our internal energy must work in agreement with our external energy or something I call Atmospheric Energy. You must create an atmosphere of success around you. Get rid of negative energy around you. It has a way of choking your internal energy to death. Surround yourself with positive people. Listen to the right things and also choose what you watch on the screens. When you create the right energy around you that is conducive for work to be done, your internal energy will find full expression.

Loyalty
No man is self-made. We all need a helping hand, so in your quest to becoming the best you can be, you must learn how to service relationships. According to an Igbo adage, “when someone is loyal to the King, the crown will one day beckon on you”. Some folks actually believe that out-shining their direct boss will get them recommended for promotion in their workplace. On the contrary, it will only set you up for troubles. You don’t want that. If you desire to get to the pinnacle of your career by climbing the corporate ladder then you must arm yourself with the weapon of loyalty. You must be loyal to the system and to the course. You must be loyal to your boss. People should feel safe to entrust responsibilities to you. You must also understand that Superior relationships (what we call ‘Connection’) is built and serviced by loyalty. If you must ride on it and get to your best, then you must play by the loyalty rules.

Finally, for entrepreneurs and business persons that desire to build exceptional global brands, customer loyalty must be at the heart of your core business processes.

There is no limit to what you can become, if you adapt this formula.
Be the best you can be and see you at the top!

Written by Brown Uzoukwu (Career Coach and Personal Development Strategist)

"Failure doesn't mean you are a failure, it just means you haven't succeeded yet"                                                                                               - Robert H. Schuller

#BeTheBestInYourChosenCareer

Valentine Sunday Special: Top Up Giveaways On All Networks! You Don't Want To Miss This!!

Yay today is val's day! i will be showing love to 4 lucky people by giving out free airtime on Glo, Airtel, Etisalat and Mtn networks respectively. To get Glo; you must be the 1st to comment. To get Airtel; you must the 6th to comment. To get Etisalat; you must be the 11th to comment. To get Mtn; you must be the 16th to comment.

Your comments should be on this particular post and do endeavor to include your email addresses. Goodluck to to you guys!

I wish you all a wonderful and blessed valentine sunday!!

#LotsOf Love&Peace

Richness Of His Mercy!

Ben opened his eyes and saw the light, it was shining ever so brightly, he moved towards it slowly and surely but was suddenly pulled back by rough hands. Ben was horrified to see what was pulling him back, they were hideous monsters with countless heads, horrific teeth, bad smell, scary eyes and gruesome bearing, he began to cry.

“You belong to us!” The dreadful beasts screamed.

“No! I don’t ...no!” Ben pleaded as he was held in their strong grip.

Ben fought harder than he'd ever fought before but to no avail as they were much more stronger than he was. Suddenly an illuminating light appeared from nowhere and one like an angel advanced towards him.

“Please help me! Save me please...” Ben pleaded.

The angel looked at the demons and held out a hand motioning that they stop dragging him. Ben stared at the angel in awe, the wings at the angel’s back was so huge and so pristine white while the angel was as bright as sunlight. 

“Leave him alone!” The angel said in command.

“Why? The heavens can testify that he belongs to us and that he has been a sinner from birth. This is not fair!” The demons shouted.

“The Lord says, ‘let him be’ and that’s a decree.” The angel said.

The demons let go of him but kept staring at him in want, they bickered aloud making groans and moans, all in agony at the loss of his soul.

“Thank you...thank you so much...” Ben said to the angel in gratitude.

“You are lucky Benjamin because for many, there is no pardon beyond this point!” The angel said.

Ben began to cry, he let out loud heart wrenching sobs and his wails echoed in his head. He suddenly felt a strong force drag him downward and he hit a solid surface with a loud thud.

He blinked and opened his eyes.

“Chei! See how life was wasted just like that ehn!” A male voice floated to him.

“The poor man, but how come his car dived into the other lane? Wasn’t he driving safely? Or was he drunk?” Another man asked.

“We have called the rapid response, they should be here any minute. May his soul rest in peace. The trailer driver was not harmed, but his trailer has to be impounded.” The first man said.

Ben sneezed loudly and sat up, he was lying on the side of the road.

“What? Did the dead man just sneeze? He’s alive!” Shouted one of the men as he ran up to him.

“He’s alive? How come? Did you see the car? It is destroyed completely! What? This is a miracle!” The second man said in surprise.

Ben looked at them, at first his vision was blurry but soon his eyes cleared.

“What happened?” Ben asked in a whisper.

“You survived that car accident. You are a miracle!” The man closest to him said, pointing to his car which was tucked under a trailer.

Ben looked in the direction of the man’s finger, he saw his car crushed and beyond repair and recognition, he saw the trailer tyres crush the front bonnet of the car.

“I am alive!” Ben said in gratitude.

“Yes, you are...you luckily escaped the mortuary.” The second man said in disbelief.

********

Culled from @Adaezewrites

'God's mercy is bigger than any of your mistakes.

'Grace is when you get the good things you don't deserve.

'Mercy is when you are spared from the bad things you deserve.

#GodIsIndeedGenerousWithBothMercy&Grace

Love&Money Matters : Do You Feel Pressured By Valentine's Day?

For many people, February has become a time of some anxiety, for both those who feel the financial pressure of gift giving, as well as those who hope or expect to receive.

According to the Huffington Post, a survey estimated that this year, Americans will spend an estimated $17.6 billion on Valentine’s Day which comes second only to Christmas, and ahead of Mother’s Day and Easter. Of the expenses, 89% are gifts for spouses and partners, the rest being for children, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and even pets! I wonder what statistics would show in Nigeria as the Valentine’s Day frenzy kicks in.

In Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Languages of Love,” understanding your partners’ money personality and how they interpret and respond to love gestures can save your relationship, anxiety, time and money this Valentines Day and beyond. The book highlights five categories or “languages” a person will primarily identify with.

1. Words of Affirmation
The simple words “I love you” can have a powerful impact. Words of affirmation include paying compliments, writing romantic notes, terms of endearment, pet names and verbal appreciation.

2. Quality Time
This person desires uninterrupted quality time, undivided attention with no intrusion from mobile phones, laptops or television. They wish to be listened to, acknowledged, and simply want to spend time together. A Valentine’s Day stroll or a day at the beach may well mean more than material gifts.

3. Receiving Gifts
For some, carefully thought through gifts are an absolute must; not duty free perfumes or chocolates bought in bulk when you are rushing through an airport! Remember, the gift need not be lavish or expensive; what matters is the thought behind it and the effort that was made.

4. Acts of Service
Simple gestures such as running an errand, cooking your loved one’s favorite meal, helping to iron a shirt or dress; these little acts of service come from the heart, cost little or nothing and will be very much appreciated if this is the way the person is wired.

5. Physical Touch
Hugs, holding hands, and other physical expressions cost nothing and usually get positive reactions.

Which is the love language that you can identify with? After you have a sense of what draws you, try to identify that of your partner or spouse. Many couples make the mistake of expressing their own love language as opposed to trying to understand the language of their significant other.

It is the thought that should count and not the amount, but sadly in our excessively materialistic society, men in particular, are constantly put under a great deal of pressure even at the expense of their financial security.

Don’t feel pressured. If you are not a millionaire, you cannot afford to fly your loved one away to a wonderful five-star resort for the weekend, or buy her some fine jewelry. If you are earning N200,000 a month and your girlfriend expects and insists upon an authentic Hermes bag for Valentine’s Day, perhaps you need to find a new girlfriend who will be more than satisfied with a lovely hand written card, and a good movie followed by a quiet dinner for two in a nice restaurant.

Let’s be realistic. If your relationship has not been one of massive displays of affection all year round, yet you never complained when he forgot your birthday or anniversary; then why put your husband or boyfriend under the pressure of suddenly becoming the hero in a romantic fairy tale sweeping you off your feet just for that one day in the year? What do you have planned for Valentine’s day? Do you expect the world whilst you plan to give him a pair of socks?

Valentine’s Day is about expressing love and not about breaking the bank. Instead of demonstrating love on just one day, from now on let us all begin to celebrate our loved ones, throughout the year and not just on the fourteenth of February.

Written by Nimi Akinkugbe

#ShowLove#Don'tFeelPressured